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Kim Cash Avatar

Mother

The little things

Posted By: Kim Cash 03-01-13

 
When I left my son at MEPS on Monday after he was sworn in, I managed not to cry until I was out of his sight. I knew he was tired and anxious and I didn't want to add to that. Coming home to this empty house was so hard, but something I totally expected and prepared for. I was prepared for the crazy "arrival" phone call that came at 10pm. What I didn't expect were the many little things that would cause a meltdown.

I went to the grocery store for the first time yesterday to shop for just one - me. Walking up and down the aisles trying to adjust to a new meal plan without him was way more difficult than I expected. I passed by all of his favorite things - the double chocolate cookies in the bakery, the apple juice, the cinnamon & raisin bread - instead I tried to figure out how to cook for one. And then I sat in the car and cried for 10 minutes.

And I cannot number the times I have started to turn to him to show him a video on my computer or ask him about something I've read about boot camp only to realize that he really isn't here. I finally closed his bedroom door because I kept wanting to tell him to put his boots in his closet where they belong.

I know I will survive these 13 weeks and I know that I will build a new and different reality with him as a United States Marine, but I really do wish I could prepare myself for all the little things.

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Kathryn Van Hyning Avatar

Mother

I know how you feel! I thought I was prepared for his leaving. He had already moved out with a buddy for a year (he's 22) and had only moved back in the house for the week and half before shipping out. His brother and sister are still at home too, so I didn't think it would hit me hard really. But like you, it was that last hug as he was standing with the recruiter, then he turned to leave and I lost it like a baby! Thankfully he didn't see, he was anxious enough. I was fortunate enough that my husband was there to comfort me, though he was just as sad. You are right though, it's DEFFINITELY the little things!

I promised him I would pack up his clothes (so his brother didn't confiscate them) and keep them safe til he needed them. So that evening when everyone else had plans and was out of the house, I went up to pack them into a suitcase. I walked into the extra room where he had been staying, took one look at his neatly stacked clothes, sat down and again, bawled like a baby (holding his favorite shirt in my arms). Where did THIS come from? I thought I was prepared! Like you, every day since Sunday (that's when we dropped him off), it's been one thing after another that brings him to mind.

I was glad to read your story, and know I am not alone :). There are other moms who I bet feel this way too!! And Dads!! I know my husband misses him so much!! Thank you for sharing your heart here, it helps. I know for me, every time I think of my son (which is A LOT, as I'm sure you do yours), I take that time to pray for him, and I know he is in good hands ;). I will be sure to pray for your son as well <3. By the way, is your son in San Diego? Did he go in on the 11th? I wonder if our boys are in the same platoon.... wouldn't that be something :) Anyway, blessings to you fellow Mom of a future U.S. Marine!

Posted by: Kathryn Van Hyning on 03/14/2013

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