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Arlene Johnson Avatar

Mother

Worried Mom

Posted By: Arlene Johnson 09-17-10

 
My daughter left around Sept 7th or 9th. We were not on good terms at the time. I am worried. I am hoping she is okay and I love her very much.

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Joy Cantara Avatar

Mother

I understand totally. My son was dropped off Sunday, August 29th by his father and step-mom. He hadn't spoken to me in weeks. He is starting his 5th week and I have received 3 letters. I send out a letter every other day. I don't feel this is the time to discuss problems we have. He is at Parris Island. I am going to graduation, hopefully things will be better.

Posted by: Joy Cantara on 10/05/2010

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Lynda Torres Avatar

Mother

Worried Mom, my son has already graduated Boot Camp, and before he left we had some bad times between us. Believe me speaking from experience; my son shared this with me on Family Day. They will have time to reflect on a lot of things and they will in their own way come to terms with all the things that they perceived as bad or uncomfortable situations between you and them. They will learn to see things differently and the DI's do not let them have a lot of time to dwell on the negative. They will be able to talk to their DIs if there is anything that they need to get off their chest that could mentally interfere with their training. Being on good terms or bad terms when she left cannot interfere with either of your minds or mother-daughter relationship. Write to her and continue to show her through your letters that you love her very much. Keep the letters positive, encouraging and loving, even if she does not write for the first 10-14 days...DO NOT PANIC or think she does not care. They are limited in their free time daily for the first month or so, they have so much to learn, to do to get ready for the next day’s training. My son's letters were short and extremely vague. He stressed that he was fine and he would write when he could. You will hear from her and she will share things through the letters with you. My son said when they got to go to the church for the first time he cried when he had time to reflect on our mother-son good and bad times before he left for Parris Island. He then realized just how important our relationship was and how much he cared about me. Gove your daughter time to experience the new life she has chosen, time to reflect and grow. Do not give up on your relationship with her or worry yourself until you’re sick. The USMC & her DI's are going to help her find her find her way and she will make tons of new friends and be able to share with them things-they will help each other through- they learn to work together as a team and you will look back at her graduation and not on good terms experience will be a memory and the new relationship you develop will be better. Have FAITH in her and believe in her success. You raised a strong young woman - now believe in yourself...she could not have made it this far without you- be PROUD. You will need each other for the 13-week Boot Camp experience. If she has not come home yet she is doing just fine!

Posted by: Lynda Torres on 09/30/2010

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Carol Brummett Avatar

Mother

I absolutely agree with the other posts! Write, write, write! I know it is hurtful for you and I am sure for her as well to have left on rocky terms. However, I know without a doubt that her soul searching began the moment she got on that plane! Girls are so funny. Somewhere between the ages of 14 and 16 they turn into completely different creatures. You swear overnight some alien dropped by and scooped up your baby girl and left you with a monster! LOL! Rest assured my friend, the USMC will remind her of how her momma gets smarter every day she lives!!

Maybe you think it wasn't the right decision for her to make, maybe she was very rebellious and no matter how you tried to guide her she just thought you were stupid? I don't know what your situation is but I do know there are worse things. Write to her and let her know you are there for her, that you are proud of her. She will absolutely appreciate that!

Our daughter (3rd oldest of 7 children, 6 girls 1 boy) was a brilliant young lady. As soon as puberty hit, I was a dumb as a box of rocks so she thought. Unlike the two oldest girls, she was very rebellious and we could tell her nothing. She already knew it all! A couple of years ago, she was dating a young man that joined the Marines. So she hung out with them at the recruiting station and became interested in the Marine Corps. Of course the relationship didn't last, but the thought of becoming a Marine did. We were completely floored when she came home telling us she was going to join the Marines.

We thought, yeah right, that is a phase. Last year her senior yr in high school she decided she wanted into the delayed entry program. She had stepped things up a bit and became a cadet on our volunteer fire dept which my husband and myself are officers. However, we tried to explain to her that she couldn't continue on her current path and become a Marine. She couldn't stay up all night, she couldn't blow off chores, blow off the rules of the house etc... I was reluctant at first and then decided there are worse things. This could give her a whole new direction in life. Give her self worth, be a part of something bigger.

My baby girl graduated high school on Aug 4th shipped out to Parris Is to boot camp. I am so proud of her!!! The first letter went a little something like..... "why did you let me do this? " The next," I can't believe how easy I had it at home", the next, " I am so sorry for ever disrespecting you", the next, "this week I get to do ......

Write, write, write to her. Things may have been rocky, and she may have been confused but weren't we all at that age? Heck, I am 43 and my momma still gets smarter every day I live. LOL, took me a while to figure it out too. She will be fine and you will feel better writing to her letting her know you love and support her.

Posted by: Carol Brummett on 09/25/2010

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laurie kohut Avatar

Mother

I would write to her. Write and write and write. And even if she doesn't write back at first I bet she will start. It will do her a world of good to know your thinking of and supporting her. Hang in there mom!

Posted by: laurie kohut on 09/23/2010

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Irma Garcia Avatar

Supporter

im sure that shes fine but i think she would have loved for her to have left knowing that you will always be there for her im sure you will and i know she does know that but it always make us feel good and safe when we hear it from yall especially when it comes from the heart!! take care

Posted by: Irma Garcia on 09/21/2010

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Arlene Johnson Avatar

Mother

Thank you so much for your comment.

Posted by: Arlene Johnson on 09/20/2010

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Mom Laz Avatar

Mother

Don't worry, I suspect that even if you weren't on good terms when she left, she will have a WHOLE new appreciation for you very soon. My son has been gone 3 weeks and we have only heard from him once. I write letters every day, my husband writes and so does his girlfriend. I bet your daughter would appreciate letters from you. I write about what I am doing, the weather, things in the news, etc. Doesn't matter what it is. They just want to hear from home. Good luck!

Posted by: Mom Laz on 09/20/2010

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Elizabeth Hinkley Avatar

Mother

It is actually not uncommon to part on not the best of terms. This is a very stressful time. Some recruits try to handle the upcoming separation from their families by causing conflicts just before they go. Or the conflicts can happen because everyone is so worried abd stressed.
Right now your daughter is appreciating her family like never before! You will see. The best thing you can do is write her lots of supportive letters. This will be her motivation, and her only comfort.

Posted by: Elizabeth Hinkley on 09/20/2010

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